Tuesday, October 27, 2009


It's my fault. It's my fault this cycle didn't work.

I took a al.eve on Friday. I was desperate. I knew it wasn't recommended. I knew I needed some relief. After I talked to the nurse on Saturday morning, of course I didn't take any more. Just the one.

Apparently, according to Dr. Goo.gle, I also interrupted implantation.

Fuck. One fucking pill.

What the hell is wrong with me. Maybe I'm in denial. Of high risk. Of what it's really going to take. Of what I'm capable of.


Sara said...

Oh christ, Sue. You are not at fault here. It's just so damn unfair. I wish I could take away the feeling that you need to confess and feel guilt. I wish this whole damn situation wasn't necessary. I'm sorry.

Kate said...

Oh man, i'm so sorry it did not work, but its not your fault, look here is a link: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/answers/1210181118

Lots of women on there took aleve and it didn't affect anything.

Please don't blame yourself.

k@lakly said...

So many women take pills, drink, do drugs etc before they even know they are pg or on the night they got pg and it doesn't affect it AT ALL.
There is no way to know why and no reason to make yourself crazy trying to figure it out.

Anonymous said...

Oh Sue, you did not do anything to cause this cycle not to work. I know how hard it is and how easy it is to torture yourself with "what if I hadn't done this or that", but keep in mind that it's a numbers game. Not to sound discouraging, but there are so many different factors that have to go perfectly in order for a cycle to work, and it may just take a number of IUIs to get the statistics on your side.

This is such a difficult process to go through. I wish it was easier. Each cycle takes an emotional toll, but it may just take a few to get you to your goal. Hang in there. Please don't blame yourself. Many hugs to you...

Ya Chun said...

one little a.leve? hm.

What about taking an aspirin if you have a headache? that's supposed to help with implantation, so might be better?

please don't be so hard on yourself!!! What are you going to do next cycle, not sneeze????? ;)

Mrs. Spit said...

Hon? There are women who are addicted to hardcore drugs - coccaine, heroine, crystal meth, and that doesn't interrupt implantation. I assure you, your aleve didn't make a difference.

I wish to hell it was that simple.

I'm sorry Sue, this is so dammed unfair.

Unknown said...

I just found you. My twin boys died, one at 18 weeks and one at 23weeks. I hate that you are my people...