Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day 10, round 2

So, yesterday's ultrasound showed three or four at 20mm, one or two a little smaller. Trigger tonight, IUI on Tuesday again. RE said he's trying to avoid multiples, but obviously can't promise. That's why he had me do 1 amp of the bra.velle instead of 2 on Friday night. He actually ran bloodwork and everything before giving me directions. Usually he just bases it on the follicles that show up.

So he seems to be making an effort to be careful. He seems almost confident that something good will come out of this one. Of course, I see parallels with cycle 9. I had 5 or 6 at good sizes, that time. He said we'd overshoot; with my history, I'd likely lose one anyway, so if I conceived 2, we'd be okay. Oh, those were the days.

Did you see the article in the NY Times today, about the "price" of fertility treatments? Here is the link. It basically argues that the availability of treatments, the drive to have children and the willingness of REs to make babies for money (risk or not) is resulting in greater multiple pregnancies, which is resulting in greater premature births. And losses. It talked about the huge costs involved in prematurity, both financial and physical.

I felt really defensive reading this article. Some of the underlying themes, seemed to me that women are so desperate to have babies, that doctors are ignoring their better judgment by transferring 2 embryos instead of 1 in IVF. Or even more embryos. That women (even if not desperate) still wanted to have twins -- despite the costs -- so they could complete their families in one pregnancy.

Callous. Desperate. Self-centered. Disregarding the safety of the procedure and the pregnancy.

About half way through the article, came this line: "Conceiving a child had become an obsession for the couple..."

An obsession? Is that where I am? To me, this sounds like the couple were ready to go out and steal a baby, "anything! I just need a baby!!"

Maybe I'm reading into things. Maybe I am defensive. Maybe I wish I had known about all the risks when I went into my own twin pregnancy.

Maybe I really want to have twins again.

Maybe I'm feeling like a freak, or like I'm being made out to be a freak because I can't do what 87% of the population can do on their own, without having to worry about all this shit.

Thoughts? Reactions? I'm tempted to look at the "room for debate" section on this subject, but I'm afraid of what I"ll read.

Mindfuck. Clusterfuck. Any others? Come on, people, help me out.

So, what else is going on in the world?


Rachel said...

I did spend a few minutes browsing the comments and I'd say a good 90% of them can be summed up as either: 1. adopt 2. don't make us pay for your medical choices. Which are both short-sighted, naive comments which ignore the main point of the article which was about why people choose to take a more risky option. I was also peeved that the 'editor's choice' comments also leaned towards these trends.

I truly think those who say things along the lines of "it's not your prerogative to get pregnant" miss the point. I view my IF as a simple medical problem (I don't ovulate. ever.) and just like I would go to a doctor to deal with a serious medical problem, or even an embarrassing superficial one (like a birthmark), I think it is both reasonable and to be expected that I seek medical help for this diagnosis. Adoption or living child-free are completely different avenues which work for some families but not all. We don't judge people who use modern medicene to fix their acne or even help with weight loss, so why the overwhelming disapproval of IF treatments?

charmedgirl said...

there is no fucking way in hell that anyone who's reproductively "normal" has any idea what treatment is all about. sometimes i read what they write, but really, you can't take what they say to heart. i love how people feel they can have an opinion on something (they THINK they do, anyway) when they've never been through it. i know, i've been one of those people. honestly, who gives a fuck what they say. an obsession? this is AMERICA, where they teach every child that if they put their minds to something and work hard and DONT GIVE UP they can achieve anything. what they don't tell the sweet little children is that along the way, people will criticize their drive and call them obsessive and crazy and tell them to get over it, already. the bottom line is, FUCK THEM.

and you know what? i gotta say, i am SO SICK of people saying things like, "get it all over with in one shot." i grieved, and still kinda grieve, the loss of singleton pregnancies and a "normal" mothering experience with different aged children. ahhhh, people and their "opinions".

loribeth said...

I saw the article, which didn't bother me too much. I haven't looked at the comments yet, because I know they will. To me, the obvious solution (which the article really didn't touch on at all) would be to fund IF treatments -- that would remove the financial pressure couples feel to transfer more than one or two embryos for a better shot at success. Of course people will scream bloody murder at the idea of having IF treatment costs coming out of "their" pockets -- but who do they think is ultimately paying for these (far more expensive) stays in the NICU??

luna said...

just wanted to wish you all the best tomorrow!

and stay away from the comments on the NYT article. just awful.

Michele said...

twins completing my family? I've never felt that way. Not once. It actually pisses me off so much when people say "Oh a boy and a girl! Perfect! Your family is now complete." It will never be complete, but losses aside, even in Bobby and Maya were our first children, I wouldnt see our family as complete either.