Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Okay, okay.

Thank you.

But, there has to be some reason.

I'm really struggling with this whole randomness thing. No plan. No justice. No fair.

It's the only thing that makes any sense -- or at least... Well, it's the only thing that makes sense in relation to my sense of justice. Of how things *should* be. And it makes me really, really angry.

Like that first six months or so after we lost the boys. Like there was a black cloud over me. Everyone I touched seemed to get hurt.

C hates when I start talking about the "embryo motel" I've got for a uterus.

How can any of this be explained?

Fucking pisses me off. Tired of it.


Aunt Becky said...

I don't have an explanation, Sue. Just love. I'm here.

Once A Mother said...

It is so difficult to be the person on the receiving end of "random," I totally understand that, and I too, am angry. Thinking of you.

luna said...

oh sue, this just sucks. the randomness of it all, the ongoing struggle, it all just sucks. here with you.

erica said...

The randomness is terrible. Thinking of you & wishing this didn't suck so much.

Betty M said...

Justice unfortunately doesn't come into it. Randomness is the hardest thing to deal with. In any event none of this is your fault. At all. Ever. Thinking of you.