More or less.
I think a lot of things were hitting me at once. I still don't know how I'm going to get through this semester, or even complete my work from the last one (when I was sick all the time). I'm starting to seriously consider a medical withdraw. Not getting work done. Not getting anything done. How am I going to get through the semester?
Hell, I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow. But I will. Whether it's sleep, or M&Ms or lots of drugs. We'll see.
Guess I should have called the pharm shrink my therapist referred me to on Tuesday. I had been weepy, but felt so much better on Wednesday, even Thursday. I thought it was mostly hormones (period started on Wednesday). Silly me. Know what I'm doing first thing Monday.
I wish I was numb. having good days just seems to end up with me on the floor weeping. Or 6 feet under. did I just say that? What I meant was, as good as I feel one day, I'll feel that bad the next. I intended no reference to actually being 6 feet under. Really.
Theoretically, rationally, I know there are good things going on, that everything is not all bad. It just feels that way. K made it through the surgery okay. So far, so good (with fingers crossed). I'm going to update the post below.
Thank you all for your responses. I can't tell you what it means to me to know I'm not alone in all this. That we're not alone. Really.