Saturday, December 13, 2008

Boys

Found out one year ago today.

After delayed results, and many phone calls. From the peri himself.

Two chromosomally normal boys.

13 comments:

The Turtle and the Monkey said...

I know reliving each day is so very difficult. Be gentle with yourself in the coming days. Do only what you feel up to.

I'll be thinking of you and your boys.

Anonymous said...

If there was a key that could
unlock this aching soul
you would see the part of me
thats hard to show

if these arms could hold you close
and somehow bear your grieve
they would share the pain
that comes from losing
part of me

I have battled sleepless nights
longing just to hear him cry
I will never tell my son
the stories of my life
and how his mothers heart and soul
went with him when he died

Like his cradle lying bare
cold and incomplete
I will never hold my son
or rock him as he sleeps

guilt and anguish feel my heart
and slowly tears my soul apart

I have knelt a thousand times
questioning my faith

asking how a god of love
could take this child away

I believe the day will come
when we will understand
Life comes from the fathers grace
and we are in his hands

with his light he reaches in
teaches us to love again

if there was a key that could
unlock this aching soul
you would find a heart that needs
your love
to make me whole


Daniels Song
Sue Krupa

Anonymous said...

Oh sweetheart...I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you and your boys.

CLC said...

I hate reliving this all. But how can we not? Thinking of you Sue and your boys!

Mrs. Spit said...

Remembering.

luna said...

so hard to remember those happy moments.

I think I've told you this, but I didn't get those results until afterwards and that call knocked me on my ass.

k@lakly said...

I remember getting the bill for the nuchal scan and blood screening soon after Caleb died. They tests had both promised me a healthy baby. Almost. I remember throwing them away and screaming in my head at the worthlessness of them. F*ckers. False hope. What a bastard.
Thinking of you. Always.

Betty M said...

Thinking of you both.

Tash said...

Oh Sue. I wanted a "surprise" (cue hysterical laughing) so I opted not to find out the gender. But everything else? Perfect. Deep sigh of relief.

I'll probably never sigh in relief again as long as I live.

Thinking of you through this journey. You're so brave to put it down in writing.

Aunt Becky said...

*hugs* Sue. Just *hugs*

Heather said...

I'm so, so, sorry.

c. said...

Chromosomally normal. What could possibly go wrong with that?

Thinking of you, Sue. And your boys.

niobe said...

It's so sad to remember a time when we were so happy, with, seemingly, the whole world spread out in front of us, shining and bright.