Friday, December 5, 2008

Still

Just ran into an old favorite prof on the way into school. She asked how things were going, we chatted a bit and I told her the cliff notes version of what happened ("well, I was pregnant last year, and I lost them at 20 weeks") and I said it very matter of factly, but as she left the elevator, my eyes began to sting, and my throat is still tight.

I'm okay and I will be okay, but...

Still.

5 comments:

jodie38 said...

I think being able to say it out loud at all is huge progress, at least it would be for me. That's usually when I begin really getting my head and heart around a situation - when I can discuss it in an offhand, casual manner and not fall apart.

Certainly doesn't mean it isn't still hard, doesn't still hurt.

Hang in there...

Aunt Becky said...

*hugs*

Julia said...

Yup, it's like that.
I am sorry.

You know, when I went back to work and started realizing that I was having moments like these that would leave me raw, and also that I was walking around prepared to have a moment like this, I decided I needed something I could have reliably in my work day that was all for me. Something I could have every day. I settled on a latte. I never used to be a big latte person. Seemed expensive, for one thing. But that's what I came up with. Sweet latte, made with sugar free hazelnut syrup. So it was both coffee and desert. Coffee part was helpful too, cause it wasn't like I had a whole lot of rest in my body. Very long story to get to this point: is there something you can come up with about going to campus? Something that you can actually look forward to? No matter how small or insignificant, or silly?

I really believe my lattes saved my butt in the long months I didn't want to be there... My shoulders would relax, just a bit, with that first sip...

Mo and Will said...

I agree that it is huge that you were able to even tell her at all, matter of factly or otherwise. I hope she responded appropriately.

Mo
www.lifeandloveinthepetridish.blogspot.com

Marc & Amy said...

still hard to say it out loud, I agree.