I tried to go back to sleep, went back to bed, but I was too restless. Came downstairs and surfed on line, walked around, and wound up napping on the couch. Woke up around 1, cats wrapped around me, C. dozing and reading. I opened up my computer again.
This was my day. It occurred to me that there was little urgency at the hospital after we were admitted. they didn't automatically call in the radiologist. they didn't automatically call my peri -- they said they wanted to wait until the radiologist with the better machine came in. Why not just transfer me to the University hospital? I know they talked to someone over there, but it seems that they either weren't worried, or knew my entire pregnancy was a lost cause already. I had the leaf. I had the kind nurses and the antibiotics. J, the grief counselor, had already connected with C. I got ambien to help me sleep.
Sounds like a lost cause to me.
Seems so long ago now.
*****
My sister's pregnancy seems to be going along fine. She got an abdomin.al ce.rclage this week.
*****
Not sure if I'll post again today. Tomorrow, adventures in big city hospitals, doctors, midwestern small-mindedness, and trying to make decisions.
Thanks for reading.
6 comments:
It's all exhausting. Here listening. Be good to yourself this week, S. You did everything right, especially the love part. Sometimes in the end that's what hurts the most.
I am here reading every word...
I'm here, thinking about you.
HUGS
I'm on & off the Net sporadically, being at my parents' & fighting with five other adults for computer time. ; ) But I will check in when I can. Thinking of you!
Exhausting is the right word. Just breathing can be that these days.
FWIW I am still here, still listening. I know it's impossible to share your burden, but please know I am standing with you to witness and honor your love, your boys, and your grief.
With you, even in silence.
Post a Comment