(I've mentioned that I hate roller coasters, right?)
Chromoso.mally Normal XY x 2
That's what the peri said, after I made phone call after call to get the results of our amnio, done on 11/27, or a year ago this coming Tuesday. 15 weeks and 3 days according to my calendar (15 and 1 according to them).
Oh, they told you it was 2 chromos.omally normal boys, right? he said.
And then C walked around, the widest smile I have ever seen, saying "BOYS!" and really began to imagine our new life. We were careful, we knew that things could happen in utero, that anything could happen, but "chromosomally" normal -- our chance for our babies was good. Clerical errors delayed our receiving these results, so we had 10 or 12 days of "Boys!" and imagining our life. Before it all went bad.
I couldn't eat much on Thanksgiving. I spent it on the couch, trying to sip diet coke and not be queasy. C cooked a beautiful meal, and I ate as much as I could, but the next day I was at the local hosp for dehydration again.
Right now every other word on TV and out there in the world is "Christmas." I just don't know how I'm going to get through it.
Yes, things are marginally better. I leave the house. I focus on dear four-legged creatures who shower me with love. Sweet Stella snores on her pillow in the corner, giving me a reason to get up in the morning. There are glimpses of that thi.ng with fe.athers.
Better, but not okay. I had some ideas about having a couple of dear Boston friends here for New Years, so C could go out of town to see his dear friends. But I can't seem to make the phone calls, emails. Not yet.
Dr. Shrink appointment on Tuesday. Maybe that will give me courage.
In the mean time, I don't know how I'm going to get through it.