Friday, April 25, 2008

How will you do it?

How will you deal with Mother's Day this year? Seriously. I'm looking for ideas.

I've been thinking about this a lot, and the best plan I can come up with is to spend more money than we should to be on a plane to Boston that day. Our wedding anniversary is the next day, and seeing as we met in Boston, it might be a nice, nostalgic visit. Boston in May. With 25,000 graduating college students, but still.

And maybe we could get a consult at the Brigham*, just for kicks, while we're there. Get educated about how a possible future pg might be treated and get a tax deduction for medical expenses. Maybe take in a movie at the Coolidge Corner Theater up Beacon Street in Brookline. Some chicken soup at Zaftig's.

Then I was thinking we could stay until the 19th, which is the boys' due date. Travel on that day, too. My goal is to be so busy and stressed with departure times, etc., that I don't think too much.

Also, the anniversary of my mother's death is Sunday, May 4. Generally, I've been okay around that day, but I know this one will be hard. If I'm making plans to travel, maybe that will help.

Or perhaps I'm being too optimistic about my ability to avoid. Like it won't come back to bite me in the ass two days later, leaving me a wet, sobbing mess in the middle of some airport waiting room.


HSG is in the morning. Hopefully my RE will still remember where my cervix is since it's been a while (I'm kinda twisted, apparently). Hoping it won't hurt too much. As I recall the last time, the worst part was him actually navigating my cervix. Certainly, I'm a different person/patient from the one I was the last time.


Okay. Yes, I've completely lost my mind. I took an am*bien an hour ago, which is loosening my fingers, but yeah. Basically I've lost it. And this is just the hsg. Have to find out if it's worth it to do all the Day 3 testing again, since it's been two years and I'll be 38 in a couple of months. (And family history kinda dictates.) And the PCOS testing again. Maybe a glucose screening.

Can you see my doctor's eyebrows jumping up off his forehead as I ask him about this? Whoa, there. Yeah, I know.

One of the big questions, though, is the twin question. We've gotten pregnant 4 times with IUI. The only one that really "took" was a twin pg, the cycle he tweaked the fsh dosage that seemed to create the right environment. With IUI, there is very little control over how many follicles might ovulate and get fertilized. And implant. And grow. The peri (one I didn't care for) said without question, I should not carry twins again. There's no way to control for this with medicated IUI. Unmedicated IUI seems to be pointless with all our issues.

And IVF? Have I mentioned that we are broke graduate students up to our eyeballs in debt for programs not yet finished?

And if we can find an OB we can trust before even trying to get pg.


Me? Getting ahead of myself? No idea. Never do that. Nope.

Wish me luck in the HSG. Hoping there will be no passing out (a la Newt), two wide open tubes and a rich fertile environment (no scarring please) just waiting for us to grow something human in it. When we're ready. More ready.

I think the amby is telling me it's time for bed. C is, too. Thanks for listening, and for your recent comments. Keep 'em coming.

And help me out with that Mother's day, thing, too?

*Any recommendations for High Risk OBs in Boston, NY, LA or Chicago are welcomed. In addition to my trusted RE's recommendation, I would like to get other opinions in big-gish cities.


Mrs. Spit said...

We went to California for my due date. Still a sad day, but there was less time to sit around and be sad, and we weren't surrounded by people who expected us to be a particular way or have particular feelings on the day.

As for Mother's day? After two years of infertility, after being laped by friends who were less than gracious about their ability to get pregnant (and stay pregnant) like falling off a log, this was the mother's day that I didn't have to feel like a useless, dried up, unable to concieve prune. This was the mother's day I got to join the stupid, damn club.

I'm not talking about Mother's day, and I'm sure as hell not celebrating it. I'm banning it, and children from my presence. I'm renting as many movies as it takes to pretend the whole damn day isn't happening.

Julia said...

Last year we went to the Arboretum, to look at lilacs. There were babies there, but not too many. No celebration, no cards, no nothing.

I am loving the Boston idea. And yes, I have a name for you, and a phone number, and a personal word if I have to. Not Brigham. The other place, you know. Zaftig's. Yum... (as is my kitchen.. shhh... :))

luna said...

mother's day is tough, made even harder for you without your mom and her anniv. so close. plus with your edd looming no wonder your heart is so heavy. I think travel is a great idea. sure it will all be there when you return, but you can escape for a while and enjoy each other, celebrate your marriage, and just be with each other on these tough days.

for mother's day we will avoid all things kid-related if possible, and probably take a bike ride, a long walk, or head to the beach. oh, and I'll probably think of my angel boy and cry a bit too. ~luna

Tash said...

I just came from Julia's blog where I told her I plan on hiding in the closet and playing video games. (Hit her up for names, she's good, she knows people.) I'm going to ignore it to the best of my ability, and if that involves booze or sports, so be it.

You have a lot on your plate upcoming -- travel is a nice distraction. We set travel for *after* the yuk, just as sort of a focus to get us through. Worked.

If you're reading this and haven't left yet, take some pain killer before going in. Big dose of Aleve or Advil, mkay? Thinking of you.

CLC said...

I have been wondering the same thing. I think we will disappear that weekend. I don't want to talk to anyone. Maybe go somewhere for a long weekend and pretend that mother's day is not a real holiday. So I am right there with you.

Good luck today with the procedure. I think it sounds like a good idea for you to go to a big city teaching hospital and get a second opinion.

G$ said...

I'm leaning towards avoiding, in fact I think we may hit the cabin where we get no internet or cell service. Maybe. Well, shit there's people there... ugh. Hmm, maybe Tash is onto something.
Our anniversary is the 13th too, so we typically celebrate that weekend.

Thinking of you, hope the HSG is going (or went) OK. I expect images loaded, kk thx bye :)

Busted said...

I'm still deciding on how to deal with M-day. Weighing my own self-preservation against the guilt I will feel over refusing to do something with my mom that day. I certainly cannot leave the house. Not an option. I will probably sit in the house with DH, watch TV, play on the computer - in other words, act as if it is simply another Sunday. My mom will get a lavish floral arrangement as a consolation prize for my absence.

I am going to get a referral to an MFM/peri after my whole "retained products" crisis ends, here in Chicago, and if I like them I will forward you the name...

Newt said...

Geez, I haven't even thought about mother's day. Gawk. Fortunately, we live in a college town, where it seems like everyone is either 20 or 60. You, too, right? But I still think Boston is a great idea.

Good luck at the HSG today. May you retain consciousness, feel nothing, and get a great result.

loribeth said...

After trying various things over the years, I've come to believe that on Mother's Day, avoidance is the best strategy. Dh & I usually go to a movie, or he might take me to a scrapbook store or two. His mother is long dead & mine lives a two-hour plane ride away, so we're pretty much able to do as we please. Thank God.

Antigone said...

I hope your HSG wasn't too painful. Mine pinched but wasn't too bad.

Mother's Day? I wish I could just ignore it but seems like it's everywhere I go online.