Monday, September 28, 2009

I want to say

...fuck it all

I want to say...when is it my turn?

But that's now how it works.

I want to say...well, we'll keep trying, despite age, despite resources. This is only our first try. First try on this go-round, any way.

I want to say... well, I have this whole other life, this whole other part of me, this is not all I am.

But it doesn't feel true. I've tasted this. I've been so close.

I don't know how to go on without this. I guess that I can. I know others have.

It feels like there are so many things I've had to let go of. This, too? Really?

10 comments:

Busted said...

I'm so sorry. Saying fuck right along with you and for you.

Tash said...

Yup. Sucks.

Hang on.

Michele said...

Oh hon, I'm sorry. This blows. Dont give up... You can do it.

Kate said...

This sucks, no question about it. I know it hurts to let go or hang on, but hang on. I hope you will get what you dream of most.

jill said...

Sending hugs!

Julia said...

Fuck! I am sorry.

And yup, it sucks, and it hurts.

Beruriah said...

Damn. I'm sorry Sue.

c. said...

Fuck it all, indeed, Sue. I'm sorry. I just really am. XO.

charmedgirl said...

this too...for now. only for now. negatives SUCK. all the work...for a negative. fucking BLOWS. i'm sorry.

charmedgirl said...

this too...for now. only for now. negatives SUCK. all the work...for a negative. fucking BLOWS. i'm sorry.