Friday, September 25, 2009

Stark

Stark white.

I think definition part 4a is particularly apt. 1a isn't bad either.

Yes, I know it is still early. Yes, I know that even though this is when I got my bfp with the boys, they were twins, with lots and lots of hcg.

I also know that if another day or two goes by and I don't get at least a faint positive (one that grows visibly darker each day) this whole project is likely doomed. Or at least this cycle is.

I was gonna make plans for the weekend -- something social for the day before Yom Kip.pur. That's out.

Here's the biggest joke (besides me): I still have to wait a week, til Thursday for the beta.

Here's another big joke: I can go through all of this again next month.

No saccharin hope please. I welcome good thoughts, but, you know.

12 comments:

Michele said...

No sugary sweet sentiments. Just thinking of you. And hoping...

Tash said...

Shit. Hang in there.

charmedgirl said...

shit! i knew i was an asshole for saying it...

i had the same problem witht he stupid betas being sooooo long, and they wanted me to keep repeating the neg betas!! WTF?!

shit. let's see what happens. negatives are always the risk we take, and you've got balls to be throwing yourself back in the game. it sucks.

loribeth said...

Sending some love your way!

charmedgirl said...

i just realized that link for "faint" is julie's "light of a thousand suns"...which is the post that first brought me to blogland. HA!

Beruriah said...

Well you won't get saccharin from me because I have to try like hell to produce it. Thanks for saving me that effort. If you want cuss words, however, I'm your gal.

I will however send good thoughts and keep up some hope.

Heather said...

Thinking of you. It must be so hard.

Ya Chun said...

I am still, stubbornly, keeping my fingers crossed!

erica said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and wishing this weren't so suckingly hard.

Bluebird said...

Lots of good thoughts. No saccharin at all. Honest. Sucks.

Julia said...

You must be thinking of someone else if you suspect I might have any saccharine to offer. But I am happy to engage in the cursing contest with Beruriah and Tash. I suspect there would be at least a touch of entertainment value in that.

Also? I grew to hate, hate, hate the sticks this last go around. The blank stark whiteness. I hear you.

k@lakly said...

Damn it. I'll keep swearing, not becuase it helps but it does sound better than "i'm sure everything will be fine" or "if it's meant to be...." or some other bullshit line some asshat might want to throw your way.
I hate this for you. Seriously.
Stark sucks ass.