Death by 1000 cuts.
Crappy night, crappy morning. too much, too little to go into. but it's pissing me off.
I'm a fucking mess and my house is fucking mess and I'm about to lose it all over someone.
Yes, I still have the migraine. the drugs took the edge off, but it's still there, poking its tongue out at me.
Peed on two sticks this morning (well, actually, I piac). The FRER? Oh, totally stark white. It looks even whiter where the test line should be.
the CVS early? The typical evap. AWE.Some.
I know it's an evap because it's 13 dpo, and I'm getting no lines on the super early frer. Oh, and I"m spotting. not much -- I have to um, you know. to see it, but it's there. brown. Just a matter of time before it's red.
I did not do a good job with all the pills and shots and inserts and sleep and caffeine. Oh, and the otc migraine medicine.
Part of me wants to do another one, so I can "do a better job." because i"m insane.
Time to give up. At least on this route.
So. How did you decide on your IVF clinic? Seriously. Give me your advice. Assvice. I'll take it.
I'm thinking about just going to NY/Cor.nell, since I have family there whom I can stay with. And I really don't know if I trust *anyone* around here.
Financial aid should be coming in any day now. Friday I think. That should cover our part, I think. Of course, we can't afford *anything* else. Like clothes. The occasional dinner out. Vacation. Hah. Vacation. We can afford that when we are old and childless. After our adoption attempt fails and I get out of the looney bin.
Talk to me.