I could still jump on a plane and go.
But I'm paralyzed.
Why can't I just go? Why is this so hard? A year ago, I would have been on the plane already.
How could I possibly be so fucked up by all this?
I am literally paralyzed.
I sent B a hugely apologetic email saying I'd like to come for a visit soon, or when I'm in the area for the wedding. I also sent her a tower of goodies from H.arry and D.avid, and her mom an arrangement of flowers. She was okay that I didn't come, and looks forward to a visit in July.
So it's fine. Of course it is. I don't know why I keep freaking out over everything.