Well, I spent most of today working on not being anxious. thinking about all the stuff I had to do to get ready for my friend's visit and thinking to myself, I really should make a list. That never happened, though I did get a few things picked up. Very few.
I also looked into volunteering, but didn't find anything anywhere I felt comfortable going to alone. Also, going out into the world is a tiny bit fraught, so I may hunker at home.
I have no idea how the day is going to go. I'm really looking forward to J's visit, so shere will be some futzing around cleaning, moving laundry around. There will be a call from C and his family. And of course from my Grandmother who worries I'll be too lonely without him. So she's back to calling me every night.
I hope to do a little writing. Watch some movies or TV dvds. I'll do some cleaning. Some crying. An a.tivan or two. It's all so weird. I'm really disjointed, too.
So. I just put in a load of laundry at about 1:10am. Never did make that list.
Once the laundry's done, I'll take an amb.ien and sleep.
It really helps to know you are out there.
Wishing you all peace.