Sunday, August 14, 2016


I guess that was partly instigated by the time of year. My cycle is lining up with the one I had when I got pregnant with the boys.

Nine years ago.

Sad, really, that that sticks, though I am usually a freak with dates and stuff like that. If you've been around here, you might remember. 

Don't know that I'll write much more, but I'll keep this up here. Maybe it -- I -- can keep someone company.

I don't know what I'd have done without it, and the company I've kept. Then and know.

Sending love.
(LONG self-indulgent post.)

Stella (11-year old dog) is now supposed to be getting B12, initially 6 sub-q shots on Saturdays since I took her in on a Saturday. I forgot yesterday, so I did it today.  No biggie. Filling the syringe, finding a spot, finding makeshift sharps container. I was a pro. I mean, she's skinny, so finding a spot was hard, but the whole ritual.


I was just telling a friend about it. The sub-q and the intramuscular, and the pills for this and the shots for that and that and that...just to TTC.

 then still shots and stuff once I got pg.

We got used to having med bottle caps and syringe boxes and sharps containers, alcohol swabs, some just around, some neatly stashed. I used to bring my lovenox to school in my backpack when I was pg. When we were trying once I had to do a shot in the airport bathroom.

I completely forgot yesterday. I had even been kvetching about the dozen things I have to do for Stella and Hazel (one of the cats)...totally forgot. Not a big deal for her medically, esp since she's way better than a week ago.

It wasn't on the calendar, and though nothing else is, it was in a paper bag, easily neglected.

I had forgotten all the steps it took, all the pills and the shots and creams and all the appointments and the internal ultrasounds and being told when to have sex. I mean, I remembered, but it was kind of a blur.

9 cycles over almost 2 years. (Some of them almost worked!)

Then 4 more.

I'd forgotten how much work it was. 9 cycles. And a few years later, 4 times more. And here I am. Where I am.

I just hadn't thought about it in a long time.