(With apologies to Ju.dy B.lume and any men reading.)
Remember being in 5th or 6th or 7th grade, eagerly/anxiously awaiting your first period? You dreaded hearing about someone else getting it, because that would mean you'd be the last one, it was never going to come and you'd be a freak/child/virgin/spinster because you never got it?
Well, I was one of those girls, sort of. Only, I didn't talk about it, because the friends I had between elementary, junior high and high school didn't all know me back at the other school. So, many already had started before they knew me. No big deal. I didn't say anything, they didn't say anything...
I was 14. December of 9th grade. Yeah. I was watching a talent show in the library of my high school when I felt it start.
Finally. I was so grateful that finally I could be like everyone else.
I don't know. I don't know anything. C and I haven't talked about the money we are likely to inherit. Well, no, we have. First, we fantasized about expensive toys or paying off some debt. Having at least part of a down payment for a house. Having a little bit of a financial cushion.
But. There's that other thing. Baby-making. Family building. Can't really do both. Or, well, we could but only a few options/combinations would work.
And then there's that whole getting pregnant, again. And being pregnant, again. Or, beginning the adoption process, which seems huge and daunting, too. (and there's my birthday, again. looming.)
Haven't really discussed it in any depth. Not yet.
Right now, I kind of feel like I'm 13, again. I have no idea how, when or if this is going to happen. And what it's going to take. And how I'm going to deal.