Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I don't even know what to title this

Or if I should even ask. Tell me if this is totally out of line.

I need to do a couple of short (half-hour-ish) or one longish interview (or a few 15-20ish minutes) for my qualitative class and have decided that this project will be focus on DBMs in academia, who were/are either working on graduate/PhD degrees or newly PhD-ed/employed/tenured when they experienced their loss.

This is purely for practice, no publication, no obligation, and I have no professional skills whatsoever. But it would be totally anonymous and confidential. You can totally opt out at any time.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this, but I'm looking at the experience of perinatal loss and/or infertility and women who are pursuing careers/degrees in academia. it may be the seeds of a larger project, but I don't know what yet. If it were to become something more, I would of course get your written consent to pursue you and/or the info you share further.

If you have a little time for Google chat and/or video (so I can record and/or transcribe) in the next couple of days, I would be forever grateful and likely send you baked goods of some sort, since the weather is appropriately chilly enough to keep goods good.

Questions? I'm working on some.

Questions for me? Know anyone who might participate?

Is this totally inappropriate? I hope not, and I hope I don't offend anyone with this.


Mrs. Spit said...

I can't help you (I'm not in academia) but I think it's a great project.

Actually, I'd be interested to see what effect being a DBM or a DBD had on people's career's at all, and if there was a significant difference between mum's and dads.

You should also send a note to Mel and maybe Glow in the Woods, so that this reaches a wider community.

But seriously, not offensive and a great idea. Hopefully you find some great information, and it helps you in the healing process.

Sue said...

Thank you, Mrs. Spit. Great ideas. Thanks for the support!

k@lakly said...

Sadly, I am many moons out of my grad work so I can't help but I think a shout out to L & F might get you what you need participant wise.
Good luck!

J. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J. said...

Hi there...me again...the previous comment was me...complete with a typo and there's no edit function...drat!!

Anyway, interesting project...I was in the middle of my MA (Anthropology) when we lost our daughter (40w unexplained loss, 6 years ago). It derailed my MA for ages...I finally finished it a few years back, 5 years after I began it.

I would be interested in participating in some way... let me know how I could be most useful to you.

Baked goods...yum but Aussie customs would pounce on them before I could get a nibble...drat.

Anyway, let me know. I'm at pellemur26 at gmail dot com

Good luck...

Rachel said...

Not dealing with loss but female factor infertility while completing my PhD. Happy to talk if it would help your work: longdistanceinfertility at gmail.

m said...

I can't help since post grad work never gets further out of my head than "oh yeah, I should think about that..." I think about it. But I am no where near pursuing.

So this is just a note of encouragement - I think this is a fascinating subject. I am not offended. I can't imagine anyone in the DBM community would be. In fact, it feels like an honor. You mean someone actually CARES how this affects the rest of our LIVES? wow.

I think you are amazing and brave to even consider this undertaking.

Mrs. Spit's additional questions are excellent. But perhaps those are some to consider as a future expansion.

Best, best, best of luck to you.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I also think it's a really interesting and important topic and I'd love to hear what you learn from it. Especially since I don't think many parents-to-be are prepared mentally at all for any other possibility than all-is-well. Statistically, all is usually well so they don't need to learn the other possibility. But I wonder if women were better educated about loss, if it would make people make different decisions (about timing, et al).

Julia said...

Not out of line in any way, if you ask me. I've actually been trying to deal recently with what the implications have been for my career. Not pleasant thoughts, and not great implications. I am swamped until the end of this week, but if weekend still works for you (and if I fit the criteria-- I had the PhD by then for about 5 years, but it did turn out to be significant for the career path), I'd be glad to participate. Please let me know, ok?

Mo and Will said...

I'd be more than willing to participate. I'm a PhD (clinical psych) with 5 pregnancy losses under my belt, 4 of which occurred during the last two years of grad school and the 5th the month I received my Ph.D. I'm in academic medicine...not straight up academia, not sure if that matters.
moandwill@gmail.com is my contact info.

Michele said...

I dont know if public librarianship falls into "academia", probably not since I wasnt an academic librarian. But, if you decide you need more folks, dont hesitate to email me.

Anonymous said...

my first early loss was less than a month after i graduated. two more early losses, then db#1 2 years after phd. i'm happy to participate if that fits your parameters. --carole

wifey said...


Not sure if I fit the bill for what you had in mind but I was working on my Master's (for the second time - the first was interrupted by living in NY during/after 9/11) and teaching high school when I had my first two losses. I've since abandoned any hope of returning to school in the near future - right now, it's either pay off student loans and save for IVF/adoption, OR quit my job, take out more loans, and finish school. Who says you can have it all?

Anyway, feel free to email me at wifey.to.hubby@gmail.com

Shinejil said...

I am ABD and had an ectopic and a vanishing twin while attempting to finish my dis...

tristra [at] hotmail

sharah said...

I don't know if I fit your profile, but I'm willing to help if you want it.

I'm ABD in systems engineering, was working on my master's when we started dealing with infertility.

No losses though, so I'm not sure I'm in your target group. Just email me if you want more -- I check it every few days.