Incompetent Cervix.
Spent an hour and twenty minutes on the phone, and according to my symptoms and history, Dr. Mensch thinks my loss was a case of Incompetent Cervix. In other words...
Not. My. Fault.
He was horrified that no one had given me a PPROM diagnosis beyond "fluke" and AMA with twins.
Much of the conversation was him explaining the Trans.abdomin.al Cerclage and the Va.ginal Cerc.lage and his, well, passion for the TAC. Part of it felt like a sell job, but, god, he was so passionate about not putting women through repeated losses when the TAC could help them. And he's worked with/taught my RE.
We certainly have research and thinking to do. Haven't really discussed it with each other yet, C and I. And more opinions and research. But there was something amazing about someone with his credentials, his passion and experience tell me that there was a (physical) reason for losing the boys. He never said it outright, but he said it for over an hour: Not My Fault. Not saying it because I'm crying, or because I'm perseverating or because he loves me.
Last night I was thinking, I'm going to have to carry this guilt around with me for the rest of my life.
Maybe not.
5 comments:
It's really a horrible term (can't they come up with something besides "incompetent"??)... but I'm so glad that you've found some answers & that it's made you feel better!
I'm so glad that he was able to give you some peace of mind. IC is not your fault, any more than my IC is my fault. It doesnt mean we dont have moments of anguish and self blame, but ultimately, we did do our best and took care of our little ones.
I'm so glad for this news for you. So glad.
Wow. I just got chills. I really hope this gives you some extended peace of mind.
As much as I want to hug this guy, people should have been telling you this along. people like your current RE and OB and everyone at the hospital and your therapists. Because there's only so much weight us friends in the computer carry. (heh.)
It does sound promising, S, and with a plan on top of it. Certainly something to sleep on.
WOW. That will be huge, having something to treat instead of just heading into blackness.
I'm so relieved for you. I hope this makes some healing a bit easier for you.
xxoo
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