Wednesday, October 14, 2009


But better. Pushing through. Eating sugary, bad for me things. Trying to get some work done. Getting through each hour, each class, each page. Or trying.

Thanks for your support yesterday. Yesterday was NOT a good day.

Professional existential angst on top of reproductive angst on top of hormones = me.

I'm really tired of the angst. Tired of wanting to give up some things and give in to others. Tired of the frustration. Of working so hard just to have some freaking hope.

My work requires optimism. Walking against the tide with rocks in my pockets. IF requires hope. More rocks against a different tide.

On or off? Each requires effort. Each requires hope or letting go of hope. Resignation? Maybe.

It makes me tired.

Thanks for sticking around.


Ya Chun said...

keeping hope can be tiring. sounds like you need an injection to some uplifting stuff - people's lives going well, etc.

well, hopefully, it will be your life lifting us all up soon! the waiting is torturing me too! I sooo want you preggo!

Michele said...

That feeling of tired... I know that well...