Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Here's one thing

...that's pissing me off about my family. There are a bunch, but I'll just start here.

My grandmother had a heart attack on Monday, the Monday before she died. It was a small one, says my brother when I ask him today. I found out over dinner before the last shiva, on Monday. In front of Dad, sister, BIL, Uncle (Mom's brother) and Aunt, Friend B, and, of course, my husband. At least I wasn't alone in my ignorance: B and C didn't know either.

No One Told Me.

Is this my fault because I don't call enough? Haven't been in touch enough? Oh, it was very busy and we didn't know how things were going to progress, said my Dad. Did A, my sister, know? Well, apparently, since she's the one slipped and said something at dinner. Well, I just happened to call and found out.

And no one called me? No one left me a voicemail? No one sent me a fucking 10 word text message?

Oh, I thought Dad would do it, says my brother.

My brother who is riding my sister's ass about the proceedings of the inheritance because he's afraid he's going to be left out of important information or decisions. Who implies via email that this is just "found money" to me and my sister, taking it all very casually. Right.

Good lord, no wonder no one trusts anyone. Fucking triangulation. At no time does every member of the family have all the same information on anything.

Okay, so maybe that's two things. Three?


Michele said...

I am so sorry. I cant imagine the stress this is adding to your plate.

Tash said...

My family (well, read: mostly parents) have this ironic way of prefacing a conversation by saying, "I'm telling you this because I don't like to keep secrets . . . " and then telling me something that happened at least six months prior. It's always "We didn't think it was a good time," or "we didn't want to bother you then." Hmmm. Thanks guys.

Sorry about this adding to the shitstorm. May is so tough for you -- I'm trying to hustle June in the door as fast as I can.

Jonathan said...

I dunno. Families -- they always look better on the outside, and kind of crazy on the inside. Mine drive me crazy and then my middle brother says, "Well, you're the one with issues..."
If only I could develop a zen-like serenity :-)