Situation
Normal.
All
Fucked
Up.
*****
On Monday met with the RE. C and I were...pointy with each other, all day, on the way. Rough. Very rough all around
The RE did not have much for me. He thinks I can get pg this way. But, we are starting over, it was not cycle 11, it was cycle 2. If I want to do IVF, he says, go ahead. Do everything so we don't feel like maybe we didn't do something.
Reviewed general stuff, asked about meds (brav.elle vs. foll), taking the mac.robid during the 2ww. Answering questions. My periods have not been normal, so he suggested a hyste.roscopy. And as long as I'm anesthetized, he might as well have a look around, so...lapa.roscopy. (And maybe I'll need a cyst.oscopy...)
Scheduled and everything, though C may not be able to take me, so I'll have to find alternate transport or reschedule. Because nothing is easy.
*****
My pharm shrink was out of town this week, but my gp took me off the lev. and suggested Ati.van for the depression anxiety. Yeah, well, I have a regularly scheduled appointment next week.
On Tuesday, GP took me off anti.biotics altogether, gave me pain reliever and told me to take lots of fluids. And al.eve for back and general pain, 2 every 12 hours. And call on Thursday afternoon to see if anything came from the culture. I totally forgot to call.
Oh, and he thinks that I have structural problems causing the repeated UTIs. Gave me a referral to a uro.logist. A gynecolo.gical ur.ologist. A cys.toscopy may be in my future. I still have to call.
*****
I'm exhausted. Still feeling down. Not quite as bad as before, but not good. Class today was not my greatest. My students know *some*, but in general can't apply it, especially through interpretation of text. Mid-terms have been a challenge to grade.
Lot of back pain, "flank" pain. not continuous, and the al.eve pretty much helps. I lost a few pounds between the end of last cycle and the end of this cycle. Not sure how that happened. I've been eating lots of crap, though my appetite's been lousy, so maybe not as much as I thought. Nothing tastes very good. I even went out and got ice cream, of which I've had two spoonfuls. Exhausted. Passing out on the couch after school. Just so tired.
I don't want to...I don't want to go back on a lot of drugs. I don't know what's going to happen. Part of me feels like doing the lap is a waste. Like the T.AC. Grasping at straws? Maybe. I'm so tired.
*****
Well, this was a joy to write. And read, too, I'm sure.
Situation? Normal.
6 comments:
I've been absent for a bit, sorry I haven't been able to leave word as often as I'd like. I think you should leave no stone unturned. Don't give yourself something to fret over down the road. keep ruling things out or in as it were, and then ugh, you wait. Hoops and jumping through them, sucks ass.
xxoo
Oh Hon. You sound exhausted. I'm kinda with Kal here -- I'd look into everything, make sure you're not dealing with anything strange that will lead to countless more rounds without explanation, or a successful round with a raging infection which would also be all shades of stressful.
Thinking of you.
God, I wish this wasn't all so hard. You do sound exhausted. I hope that something eases up on you soon, you need it.
This sounds exhausting indeed. Wishing you some good rest and some ease from all this stress.
are you still doing the accupressure/puncture? I think you were trying this at one point. MAybe it would at least help with pain and depression. And I know when my back is hurting (ouchy chronic thing) it soooo affects my mood - i just can;t even get going and I feel like an invalid.
If nothing else, get a good massage! You need to get all these toxins from stress moving out - and you deserve it, hon.
Oh Sue... You sound so tired. Have you thought of visiting a monastery for a short break? I find that going for even a few days can recharge. The world is so different from the inside of those walls... I know it sounds strange, but it truly does change things.
Post a Comment