Sunday, January 11, 2009

Loving

One day I'll write a post about how twice a year she sends me care packages filled with Jewish and NY goodies I can't get here, goodies from Za.bars, making sure to include lox spread for C. I'll write about how she sends me articles on topics I once mentioned I was interested in.

Someday I'll write a post about how she begins her notes to me "Suzi dear," and still remembers terrible jokes I made about cereal when I was 10 years old, still gives them a warm laugh. I'll write a post about how at every family gathering for a holiday meal, she will bring crunchy, raw, red peppers for me, because she knows I love them.

Today, I'll write just a few words about how, during our phone call today, after I thanked her for her recent care package, and she asked me about school, my dear Aunt L (Tia, as she prefers), asked how I was doing. I was sort of honest, that it's been hard, this time of year,
but I'm getting through. And she told me she lit yahrtzeit candles for the boys.

And I amazed, and touched, that she was thinking not just of me, on those days, but of my sons. She was loving not just me and C on those days, but Jacob and Joshua, too. Perhaps, if she remembered the words, she was saying the prayers in Hebrew as she touched the match to the wick of each candle.

And 2 hours after our conversation, I am crying as I think of it, and I think about my worry that my boys would be forgotten. Or, dismissed. And I picture of her in her tiny NYC kitchen, looking at each flame, and remembering them. Loving them as she loves me.

16 comments:

m said...

Oh, your tia made me cry tonight too. What a wonderful relative. What a wonderful friend. Thinking of you and your boys, too.

Tash said...

What a wonderful Tia.

I have a few people like this in my life (thank goodness, they cancel out the other rejects) and it always amazes me and touches me so much to know that my child's name crosses other people's lips.

loribeth said...

People like your aunt are worth their weight in gold. They will never know just how much their words & loving gestures mean to us. I can only hope my two nephews will someday think half as fondly of me!

Ya Chun said...

aaawwww. That melts my heart. As I am sure it strengthened yours.

Amy said...

Tears streaming down my face. I'm finding it hard to see to type...I am so glad that you have Tia in your life, so glad that she showed you that she won't forget the boys. She has been touched by them just as I have.

Big hugs to you!

Barbara said...

How utterly wonderful.

Jacob and Joshua have a lovely great aunt.

xxx

Heather said...

That's just beautiful.

CLC said...

That warms my heart!

c. said...

Tia sounds beautiful, Suzie dear. Beautiful.

theviewfromthisplace said...

you've brought tears to my eyes, or rather your aunt has. i'm tearing up at work!
I feel this emotion inside, because i understand how it feels when someone recalls your children; when someone says their names even.
how very special of her...there should be more people like her in this world.
i too carry your children in my heart; along with the other chilren in this community, along with my own.

Anonymous said...

thought you might enjoy this post - it's an older post but I love it.

http://inthelifeofachild.com/index.php/choosing-to-see-beauty/

Mrs. Jess

k@lakly said...

I'm so glad you have her to love them too and you of course. She sounds beautiful, inside and out.
xxoo

Betty M said...

What a caring woman your aunt is.

Susanna said...

Hi. I'm visiting your blog for the first time, clicking over from Flotsam. I read several of your posts-- enough to get a rough idea of the nightmare you have been through. The Auden poem always makes me cry, especially in this context. I wish I could think of some magical thing to say that would feel supportive to you, but I'm at a loss. You are both very brave.

Michele said...

Simply beautiful... It helps to know our little ones are not forgotten

Carrie said...

She sounds very special. Glad she's there for you and, of course, the boys x