Feeling so lonely, so alone. Such a failure?
How do you forgive your body, yourself?
Is it time and distance? Carrying or caring for your own (adoptive) child? Does that help you to block out all the IF and loss pain and grief?
Somewhere (forgive me, I forget) someone wrote about always carrying this, the IF, the grief.
Emotionally, I am all over the placen every single day. All. Over. The. Place.
I'm so tired of being sad. And hopeful. And frustrated. And guilty. And forgiving. And optimistic. And angry. And envious. And sad. And tired.
There is no one in my place. I know some have weathered this and come out on the other side, in various ways.
I don't know how to do this.
And I'm so tired..