Connected by phone with local IF shrink who works with the local REs. After I talked to her about my concerns, issues and choices, she warned me that REs around here won't go near a woman any where close to 40 for IVF. "They feel like it's just taking your money for nothing."
I know some other clinics (c0rnell, NYU, CC.RM and some in LA) will see women my age as a regular part of their practice, and told her so. But know I know where she's coming from. Which may or may not be helpful.
I feel like if I had enough of the right support, I could get through IVF, but am already doubting the is the right support and am dreading the search for it.
I'll write about my appt w my reg shrink later. Def need diff kind of shrink, maybe grief counselor instead of IF? I'm so tired of all this.
Thoughts?
7 comments:
Wait, what?! My initial reaction is this is bullshit, because 40 y.o. women are EXACTLY the women needing IVF for fuck's sake, and I'm sure most RE's offices are made up a decent percentage of women over 40. So either your area is bizarro, or this person is really misinformed.
I'm with you. She's obviously not supportive if this is her attitude. Part of her job should be listening why it is you're seeking IF treatment at the age you are, and being understanding. And that should cover prior IF and babyloss AND the more mundane "we're just getting around to it." It shouldn't matter. I call bullshit. Find someone else. Geez, I know it's annoying but damn, that makes me angry. Is there a bulletin board or somewhere you could go to see if anyone recommends anyone in your area? Maybe Fertility Friend?
I agree with Tash. If they refuse all 40 plus women it suggests they are worried about their stats going down which then suggests to me that they aren't that great. I'd definitely look elsewhere for a clinic and a counsellor.
I agree with Tash. If they refuse all 40 plus women it suggests they are worried about their stats going down which then suggests to me that they aren't that great. I'd definitely look elsewhere for a clinic and a counsellor.
sounds to me like this shrink isn't the right one. based on what i also consider to be a kind of bullshit, if meant to be helpful, comment.
for tash's suggestion...you could try the IF board on iVillage. it's a very supportive group of women and people regularly ask for clinic/dr suggestions or feedback.
there's a fab shrink and some excellent clinics up here. you are welcome to come stay with us -- for a while, for multiple short visits, for whatever -- to get the support you want and need. c and pup are welcome too.
that's my idea. :)
--carole
go have a consult with dr. mark sauer at ccrm. he's internationally known for working with older moms...not that 40 is OLD when it comes to ivf!! jesus! in any case, he'd be a great support. i think he may even have some video talks/interviews out on the net.
NO! NOT ccrm! it's columbia women's reproductive center (CWRC). sorry!!
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