you can forgive, but not forget, in my experience. you grieve with anguish, anger and tears. but in the end, it's about acceptance, flaws and all.
It's taken me a long time to come to terms with the idea that I'm broken. My body has failed me. It still brings tears to my eyes to know that there is nothing anyone can do for me and my husband. There will continue to be losses until one month, the stars (and genes) align and the baby lives. I finally decided that it was like trying to teach a cat to sit - it's impossible to change what is wrong with me so I need to move on and focus on what is right. It doesn't always work but I'm trying.
I'm not sure. But I need to remember to try. I hope you can remember to try.
For me (and I realize that my situation is not the same as yours) what works is denial and avoidance. But that certainly doesn't work for everyone.
Even with subsequent pregnancies with one that ended in live, even if preterm, babies, I still havent forgiven myself. I think, in some ways, I have come to terms with life as it has happened and is, but I dont know that I will ever forgive myself... Even if I dont know what I am guilty of...
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