(With apologies to Ju.dy B.lume and any men reading.)
Remember being in 5th or 6th or 7th grade, eagerly/anxiously awaiting your first period? You dreaded hearing about someone else getting it, because that would mean you'd be the last one, it was never going to come and you'd be a freak/child/virgin/spinster because you never got it?
Well, I was one of those girls, sort of. Only, I didn't talk about it, because the friends I had between elementary, junior high and high school didn't all know me back at the other school. So, many already had started before they knew me. No big deal. I didn't say anything, they didn't say anything...
I was 14. December of 9th grade. Yeah. I was watching a talent show in the library of my high school when I felt it start.
Finally. I was so grateful that finally I could be like everyone else.
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I don't know. I don't know anything. C and I haven't talked about the money we are likely to inherit. Well, no, we have. First, we fantasized about expensive toys or paying off some debt. Having at least part of a down payment for a house. Having a little bit of a financial cushion.
But. There's that other thing. Baby-making. Family building. Can't really do both. Or, well, we could but only a few options/combinations would work.
And then there's that whole getting pregnant, again. And being pregnant, again. Or, beginning the adoption process, which seems huge and daunting, too. (and there's my birthday, again. looming.)
Haven't really discussed it in any depth. Not yet.
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Right now, I kind of feel like I'm 13, again. I have no idea how, when or if this is going to happen. And what it's going to take. And how I'm going to deal.
5 comments:
In a weird way Sue, it's almost a new decision. There are new financial aspects to consider, some job stuff in there, etc. And I found that for me that was a good thing. It wasn't an add-on to the rest of it.
There's no wrong here. Go with your gut, I say.
I agree with Tash. Whatever feels right, do it. We'll be here providing whatever support you need no matter the decision.
And re: the Judy Blume stuff? Does it make you feel better that mine NEVER came...I officially was a freak. My friends stopped teasing and asking me about it when I was about 16, I guess they just gave up. It never happened until I went on the pill at 20 when my gyn said it wasn't ok to not ever have it. And only at 30 did I get one without medical help...
I have to agree with the previous posters... And, I got a period at 11, but then it disappeared! And it took forever to come back... with medical help... So, I can get being a "freak" too...
But it brings a funny story. The other day, I told Peter I needed to check my tampon. His response afterwards was "Do you just look at it and put it back in?"
Really?? I guess my lack of menstruating really has had a damaging effect...
I've been reading this and thinking that it's plenty hard to feel 13 once. I wish I had wise answers, but I'm just wishing you calm as you weigh your options.
great
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