tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post2826610618259089215..comments2024-02-19T05:16:19.517-05:00Comments on So Dear and Yet So Far: SalientSuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-82478258725578688362010-12-16T18:15:13.798-05:002010-12-16T18:15:13.798-05:00I want to say that being an aunt is not the same a...I want to say that being an aunt is not the same at all and that <em>of course</em> you have the right to lament, but what I really want is for your therapist and family to make it clear that they realize this, too.<br /><br />I hope you get a few well-deserved treats/fun outings/times to relax over the break. And also that grading the papers goes fast.ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347057746449071812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-74319793638200871882010-12-16T10:59:02.547-05:002010-12-16T10:59:02.547-05:00Thanks for stopping by my blog and offering encour...Thanks for stopping by my blog and offering encouragement.<br /><br />Wow, so I read your backstory, and my heart just breaks for you. I am sorry for your losses. Having an RPL history myself, I know how devastating and vicious the cycle is after a loss. It took me years to acknowledge the anger and disappointment I was feeling, and even longer to get myself into a therapist to talk about it.<br /><br />My therapist has encouraged me to feel the pain, because if I don't allow myself to wallow in bitterness (once in awhile), how could I experience the alternative?<br /><br />It's such a complicated state, and so easy to just keep spinning on the hamster wheel (terrible analogy, I know yet it rings true for me anyway).<br /><br />I bookmarked you in my reader. Looking forward to your posts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-80477498380130947272010-12-15T09:17:38.010-05:002010-12-15T09:17:38.010-05:00Why wouldn't you have the right to lament? I ...Why wouldn't you have the right to lament? I don't understand that. I get that you don't want sadness and bitterness to take over your life and be a constant theme. But what has happened to you and your DH is a tragedy that should never happen to anyone. I see that you can go on to find joy in other parts of life - but I don't see how the pangs of sorrow will just vanish.<br />I find Lori from The Road Less Travelled writes really well about this. From what I can tell she has a full life and finds hoy with her hubby - she is a blessing to her family and friends; she has a busy career, enjoys hobbies etc. But her stillborn daughter is always a part of her, and sorrow or wistfulness will come up.<br /><br />I don't know, do you think it might be worthwhile talking to a different therapist ??<br /><br />I'm thinking of you and following your story.<br /><br />AndieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-31695414017483093702010-12-14T18:32:19.201-05:002010-12-14T18:32:19.201-05:00Thanks, Ya Chun. :-)
We are not totally done -- ...Thanks, Ya Chun. :-) <br /><br />We are not totally done -- hope to try or to try to adopt once we are settled someplace new. What I dread is being that woman. <br /><br />It was actually chatting with some older women/professors in my program that got me thinking about this kind of research. <br /><br />I do hope to bake, though I'm going to have to get through this funk.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-47083369337560875502010-12-14T18:24:37.364-05:002010-12-14T18:24:37.364-05:00I know you will always always miss out on being a ...I know you will always always miss out on being a mom, have a pang when a friend or relative brings home a new baby.<br /><br />I have a coworker, about to retire, who i don't know well (we work opposite shifts, but talk at parties/phone) but I knew she didn't have kids. She talks about her nieces/nephews and is always up to holding Bea (and quite good at it too). At the holiday party, she told me she had two tubal pregnancies. I could see her trying to hold it together.<br /><br />Being an aunt is definitely not the same, if you wanted more.<br /><br />I tell you this, because I am wondering if you can find some older gals that never could have kids. I know you are in a town without family, and I really did miss having an older generation to talk to, gain perspective from. Until I got the job (I just left on Sat.) where there were lots of older volunteers.<br /><br />Anyway, I had a point in there somewhere - I hope it came through :)<br /><br />Have fun baking cookiesYa Chunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816837461370619194noreply@blogger.com