tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post6791278914265626613..comments2024-02-19T05:16:19.517-05:00Comments on So Dear and Yet So Far: Who Needs Sleep?*Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-22334681925081360052008-03-14T23:24:00.000-04:002008-03-14T23:24:00.000-04:00The women who leads the deadbabymeetings I attend ...The women who leads the deadbabymeetings I attend always starts them by saying grief can't be compared or quantified. We can't put it in a cup and see who has more. Makes me feel better to think her cup is full of shit, really.c.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02933776400434137451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-38260397501951632932008-03-12T00:27:00.000-04:002008-03-12T00:27:00.000-04:00Yeah, I assign people pain ratings. If I read abo...Yeah, I assign people pain ratings. If I read about a woman who has had one early miscarriage I give her a 2. Depending on the number of losses, the length of gestation or neonate life, the existence of other children, the prospect of future pregnancies...a number is assigned. I can't help it. I understand its natural and common to do but it still seems odd.Antigonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09206205690072218302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-63994211954129251312008-03-11T18:33:00.000-04:002008-03-11T18:33:00.000-04:00I agree with the other ladies here, I think it's n...I agree with the other ladies here, I think it's natural too. It's not pleasant, but it happens. I think you just want to know that other people are hurting as much as you are, and some situations would seem that the hurt is there, while others may seem less trivial to you. It's like the pain scale at the hospital. You have to rate it. Personally, I think this is a 10.CLChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08030787972960755420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-71678346904788971802008-03-11T17:05:00.000-04:002008-03-11T17:05:00.000-04:00comparisons don't help, but I think it's hard not ...comparisons don't help, but I think it's hard not to sometimes... <BR/><BR/>I look at women who were pregnant when I was and I can't help but compare what "should have" been (e.g., my son should be almost 2 now!). I look at women who were cycling when I did my IVF and see that 2 of them are still pregnant, one with twins, and one got pregnant but mc'd and her beta is still not back to zero 10 wks later. what's worse, not getting pg at all or the m/c from hell? they both suck. hell, if we're being honest here, I look at my friends who suffer secondary i/f and I still catch myself saying (to myself) "but at least they have 2 beautiful healthy kids" when I KNOW they are still suffering... <BR/><BR/>I agree with tash, it's natural, even if it doesn't help one bit.<BR/><BR/>~lunalunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-66436447462867677072008-03-11T10:57:00.000-04:002008-03-11T10:57:00.000-04:00(OMG, my memory is just shit. The band question w...(OMG, my memory is just shit. The band question will hit me at 3 a.m., just watch.)<BR/><BR/>I think it's human nature to compare. I once said that if you got a bunch of women in a support group whose husbands had all died of the same kind of cancer, that the compare game would go on there too. (Both jealousy and thanks that the sickness didn't last as young; the kids were still at home; someone was married longer/less; etc.) What strikes me as odd is that my thanks and jealousies change depending on what mood I'm in. Most days I'm v. thankful that I only had six days, and would've preferred less; others I wonder if I would've been less traumatized if I had had a few more weeks. And on. <BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog.Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376651134993450207noreply@blogger.com