tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post3628914064803433388..comments2024-02-19T05:16:19.517-05:00Comments on So Dear and Yet So Far: Just to clarifySuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-31679272077243115862008-05-13T22:22:00.000-04:002008-05-13T22:22:00.000-04:00you are right-- it's about choice, and in more way...you are right-- it's about choice, and in more ways than one. We choose how to relate to the ongoing pregnancy, or we come to recognize how we are relating, for example. And she may have chosen to guard herself, and she may even have succeeded. But the point you have every right to make is exactly this-- we each do what we can and what we have to. We each view what happened in our own way, and she has no more right to tell you what the right way is than you have a right to tell her.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09745262857388007041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-54388085095034734452008-05-10T22:08:00.000-04:002008-05-10T22:08:00.000-04:00About support groups, I recently tried one. I didn...About support groups, I recently tried one. I didn't like it. I prefer self-selecting on blogs. I get to pick which experiences and interpretations I read/hear that way. Plus, I came close to losing it when I had to 'tell my story' in public to a group of strangers.Antigonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09206205690072218302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-78232399252830197432008-05-09T23:49:00.000-04:002008-05-09T23:49:00.000-04:00* I mean she has no idea, but I was thinking in th...* I mean she has no idea, but I was thinking in the middle of that that she probably thinks she has been the most supportive. Weird error in my first comment :)G$https://www.blogger.com/profile/05010373805685335151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-59643577828900524372008-05-09T23:38:00.000-04:002008-05-09T23:38:00.000-04:00My sister has hurt me the most in this too and I c...My sister has hurt me the most in this too and I can guarantee she thinks she has no idea. It sucks S. I am sorry.<BR/><BR/>C's comment reminds me of the Indi.e Ari.e song Get it Together. The one line that reads: "No one has the power to hurt you like your kin"<BR/><BR/>Ain't that the truth.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there hun.G$https://www.blogger.com/profile/05010373805685335151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-38328213775237417822008-05-09T13:15:00.000-04:002008-05-09T13:15:00.000-04:00I think a lot of our past hurts with siblings, esp...I think a lot of our past hurts with siblings, especially sisters, gets tangled up with our present grief. I think my own wall is highest when it comes to my sister; as one commenter posted in the last set of comments: no one can hurt me like my sister can. And my sister hasn't experienced this level of loss. So it's even harder for her to understand my present grief. <BR/><BR/>As an older sister, and one who feels immense competition with my sister, I can see how I might act like the bigger person, like my grief doesn't exist, just to give me the one-up on her, you know. It's so juvenile and silly, but as siblings we do it anyway. I don't know if your sister really believes she's not grieving or was attached. I can say very honestly, having experienced a stillbirth and then that maybe pregnancy last month, I was attached...maybe not to a "baby", but to the idea of one, to hope, to something. <BR/><BR/>I don't know. We all handle these things so very differently. I just know it must be so very hard for you; to have your grief judged by someone who should understand, well, that's just hard no matter who is doing the judging. Having it be a sister must make it even worse. I'm so sorry. XO.c.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02933776400434137451noreply@blogger.com