tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post1220188195556582852..comments2024-02-19T05:16:19.517-05:00Comments on So Dear and Yet So Far: MaybeSuehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-2563773560344917292008-04-23T00:11:00.000-04:002008-04-23T00:11:00.000-04:00You know this is magical thinking, right? And you ...You know this is magical thinking, right? And you know this is both natural and not true, I am sure. Randomness in the universe is so hard to accept, so hard that sometimes we try to come up with reasons. Reasons that most times end up being hurtful to ourselves. <BR/><BR/>I knew, kinda. I fessed up to it on my blog, finally, a few weeks ago. Didn't do shit. Didn't help the grief any either. <BR/><BR/>it's not you, and there is nothing you could've done. I am sorry.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09745262857388007041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-21732009473533158222008-04-20T21:03:00.000-04:002008-04-20T21:03:00.000-04:00I use the "if I worry enough maybe the bad things ...I use the "if I worry enough maybe the bad things either (a) won't happen or (b) if they do it won't suck as much cuz I'll have already worried about it so much, method of coping all the time. Guess what? It doesn't work for shit for me. The good stuff still ahppens and I'm happy and worried and the bad shit still hapeens and I am devestated and worried. Why I keep doing it I have no idea, I think it makes me officially crazy/insane tho, you know, doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. <BR/><BR/>I do think things will get better, time really does have magical powers. Hang in there.k@laklyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05366772609212990882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-19241944507189692312008-04-20T20:03:00.000-04:002008-04-20T20:03:00.000-04:00Oddly, when I look back on my pregnancy with Maddy...Oddly, when I look back on my pregnancy with Maddy, I feel that I was getting rained on with anvils and I should've known it would blow up spectacularly. I think I did start retreating, but more out of practice than a real sense of danger. I feel like I should've known. Not that it could have changed things a single bit in my case.Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376651134993450207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-1961744996990991172008-04-20T02:42:00.000-04:002008-04-20T02:42:00.000-04:00unfortunately worry has nothing to do with it -- y...unfortunately worry has nothing to do with it -- you could have worried every minute or not at all and the outcome would have been the same. as freaky and out of control as that sounds, and it is, there is an odd disconcerting kind of comfort knowing that *nothing* I could have done would've made a bit of difference. ~lunalunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-77248446379552494732008-04-20T01:24:00.000-04:002008-04-20T01:24:00.000-04:00It was at 20 weeks that I took a deep breath and t...It was at 20 weeks that I took a deep breath and told myself, "Ok now I can relax and just be happy." Ha! I was so foolish. <BR/><BR/>But isn't it natural to think that once you get that far that things are going to be okay?Antigonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09206205690072218302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-73886755897335547882008-04-20T00:46:00.000-04:002008-04-20T00:46:00.000-04:00I want to say you're not being punished, but you k...I want to say you're not being punished, but you know that already. The randomness of it is what really sucks--you don't have to deserve it, shit just happens. I'm so so sorry it happened to you and your husband and your beautiful boys. I wish I could help.<BR/><BR/>:(Newthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16517611200405647990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-17246549942434534342008-04-19T23:29:00.000-04:002008-04-19T23:29:00.000-04:00I've just caught up on some of your recent posts. ...I've just caught up on some of your recent posts. <BR/>I just wanted to say "sorry that you are having a rough time"<BR/>~aYa Chunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816837461370619194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-37760217800532061392008-04-19T22:34:00.000-04:002008-04-19T22:34:00.000-04:00Busted, the "me, too"s do help, really. Thanks fo...Busted, the "me, too"s do help, really. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for reading (and writing).Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03812637630030228124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-398826425080805683.post-84470210677777787952008-04-19T22:15:00.000-04:002008-04-19T22:15:00.000-04:00I feel the same way - I look back at my blog posts...I feel the same way - I look back at my blog posts from when I was pregnant, days before our loss, where I said it was too early for my shower, what if something goes wrong, and think that I should have focused more on that, that I jinxed things by being happy and have positive expectations. And then sometimes I wonder if it would hurt less if I hadn't worried, hadn't assumed that nothing that good could ever happen.<BR/><BR/>Per your post below - I can't speak from experience since you're farther out than I am...but I do think it will get better. I say to DH every day that I don't see how it can get better, but deep down I have to believe it must. I believe that for you too, even more so than for me. <BR/><BR/>Sorry for having nothing more for you today besides "me too!" and platitudes. I just wanted you to know I was here, and reading, and understanding.Bustedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09926427330808873296noreply@blogger.com